Playboy Morning Show - Episode 121

Diamond Dallas Page once owned the WCW ring. Now he owns a sliver of the mini mansion. He gutted the breakfast nook and poured rubber mats across the parquet, turning the space into a yoga studio that smells faintly of lavender and his sweat. During the Camel Toe Fashion Show the girls move between poses while the crowd judges each camel-toe outline the way judges score a dive—sharp lines, perfect symmetry, zero air between fabric and flesh. The new segment, "Sixty Seconds of Buttering Andrea Up," starts with a caller on the line who promises he can talk her through an orgasm in under a minute. His voice cracks halfway through the countdown. Andrea stays quiet, thighs flexing against the yoga mat, counting the beats of his stuttering compliments. By thirty seconds his lines are looping, his breath fogging the receiver. At forty-five he stammers an apology. She hangs up before the minute mark, lips curved, already slick from nothing but the sound of a man trying and failing to finish what he started.